Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
