i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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