A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
