the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
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