This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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