My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
