yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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