She said her name was "party"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
