If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
