OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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