this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
