jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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