I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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