omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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