Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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