Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis

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  (313): I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis http://tfl.nu/f8bv
  Replies (3) Good night (847) Bad night (1126)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin

  (914): View more from New York

  and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston

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  (201): you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin (914): and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston http://tfl.nu/bnxc
  Replies (3) Good night (2298) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth

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  (608): Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth http://tfl.nu/9wx7
  Replies (7) Good night (2220) Bad night (787)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Little spoons don't ask big questions

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  (330): Little spoons don't ask big questions http://tfl.nu/13tl
  Replies (18) Good night (4540) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga

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  (414): It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga http://tfl.nu/cqgc
  Replies (20) Good night (1107) Bad night (4820)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.

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  (570): Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal. http://tfl.nu/4lbo
  Replies (6) Good night (1047) Bad night (2132)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.

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  (724): It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me. http://tfl.nu/9spl
  Replies (7) Good night (3899) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete

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  (716): whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete http://tfl.nu/s3e3
  Replies (6) Good night (2880) Bad night (1107)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.

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  (626): I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there. http://tfl.nu/iwr8
  Replies (4) Good night (1737) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.

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  (231): Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger. http://tfl.nu/yx75
  Replies (13) Good night (2605) Bad night (1135)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience

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  (703): Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience http://tfl.nu/mhgr
  Replies (5) Good night (1422) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!

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  (207): Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck! http://tfl.nu/r6pa
  Replies (4) Good night (954) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.

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  (201): I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man. http://tfl.nu/58ag
  Replies (7) Good night (402) Bad night (1007)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.

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  (415): Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth. http://tfl.nu/zrpp
  Replies (1) Good night (308) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.

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  (563): Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius. http://tfl.nu/fysj
  Replies (2) Good night (634) Bad night (176)

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