Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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