so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
