My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.