Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?