it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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