i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
