Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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