Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
