Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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