Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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