I'm laying in your front yard are you home
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
