herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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