pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
