I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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