would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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