I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
