yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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