let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
