this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
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it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
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He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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