Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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