I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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