So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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