Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
