the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
