You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize