Your dad touched me again.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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