Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize