the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
