I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Two words: blizzard sex
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
