1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
