Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
