this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
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We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
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Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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