Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
