oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
