Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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