Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I checked into jail on foursquare
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
