is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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