erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
