help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
