my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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