Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
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i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
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I can't put those talents on a resume
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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