"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
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