I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
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Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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