what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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