During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
sex in a hospital.. check
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
