4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
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Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
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I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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