I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
