Tell her she can't have a vagina
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Small penises have feelings too.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.