i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian