I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive