just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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